Today is The First Day of The Rest of My Life...

So the last time I posted was on Saturday and my 1-day vacation from blogging turned into the entire weekend of a sort of soul searching mission. I can’t really say that I was able to fully figure out anything (I mean, who can find answers to such a deep topic in only 2 short days)? I did however, spend a lot of time crying, talking to God and reading. I think the part that really helped me the most was the crying and talking to God, I expressed a lot and got a lot out. I went through so many emotions from anger; to sadness to confusion to a bit of a calming effect though I am still rattled  a little inside, I can  say it’s not as bad as it was.  

I really wanted to thank those of you who left comments and encouraging words for me, it really helped and was just nice to see! I’ve decided to start my day with the mindset that today is the first day of the rest of my life and just take it one day at a time, see what happens and not be so hard on myself. I know God loves me, I mean he died for my sins so I could be saved and given everlasting life, how much more could someone love me! I also know that though I can’t always hear him and at times I get frustrated with not getting an answer from him right away, I have come to realize that he’s always on time with his plan for my life. I plan to post later today with something a bit a more cheerful but I just wanted to give an update right now. Also I’m in the process of rearranging my blog and making some changes so please bear with me as I take this editing thing one step at a time!

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Gone On Vacation:

Taking the day off from blogging… I had a rough night and am really struggling with myself and what my life means or should mean…  It’s so hard when you believe in God and for your whole have believed that he has put you here for some special purpose but then look back and realize that you’ve done nothing and haven't made a difference to anyone or their lives, and then you wonder, “Okay, God so why am I here, what does it all mean and does anything matter anymore?”

I’m taking the day to try to figure somethings out and have some quite time to reflect.

Happy blogging all… 

Food, Fitness and Top Model...

It’s Friday afternoon and I’ve had the day off from work so its been pretty laid back. I had a doctor’s appointment earlier this afternoon and am now home watching the Top Model marathon. You know I never really realized how much work models have to do and I don’t just mean keeping lean and thin, that’s a whole other workload they have.  So what I’ve learned is that models have to be able to do anything, I mean anything. They have to be able to understand the elements around them, they have to be put into harsh environments and face many of their fears and still deliver a great photo! They are critiqued and told what needs improvement and We really need to give these ladies a big hand because they deal with so much and all we think is that they just show up, put on something cute, smile and get a giant paycheck… Nope it’s so much more than that!

Coco’s been lying in her bed (a rocking chair in our bedroom near the window that she has recently staked claim on) and has been watching the birds outside all day. Every now and then she hopes down for a drink of water and then right back up. Just a side note: that green blanket is her favorite and she always had to lay on it.

My doctor’s appointment this morning was just a routine check up and I took the opportunity to talk about my recent weight gain so my doctor looked back over the past few years of my medial history and realized that I had gained a few extra pounds. Unfortunately, she didn’t supply me with any additional news that I already had not tried, work out more, eat more veggies, and get more sleep, blah, blah, blah… I’ve done all these things and still weight the same. I need something else, something major! So I pulled out a book that I recently purchased and decided that I really need to get serious about working out more on a consistent fitness plan. I just love food and love to cook so this combo is not working for my figure at all! So I’m hoping that with this new mindset and this book by my side I can really do this!

So wish me luck! 

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Healing The Hurt...

Today I’m cleaning out my closet, or at least a small corner of it. My closets pretty big so it’s going to take a few Wednesday’s like this one to truly get out all that needs to be boxed up and taken out. For me, the idea of this brought up a lot of feelings and thoughts, some good, some bad, some very painful and others very, very hard to swallow but nonetheless, I was flooded with almost every emotion that my body could conjure up. Funny thing is, ever since For The Love Of Blogs first mentioned that they were turning Wednesday’s into sort of a “confessional” day I had been excited about it but now that it’s actually here… it seems very REAL.

For years I had suppressed a lot of hurt and pain that happened in my youth, most events of my early childhood I really don’t even remember because, well as the Doctors and Psychologist put it, people have a tendency to unconsciously force their minds to erase things that are too painful to deal with. I mastered this skill by the age of 5.  My family has often been hurt that I have no memory of my childhood, only bits and pieces and most of those I have trouble deciphering from possibly something I dreamed about or actual real events that happened, (another side effect of suppressing memories).

I think it really hurts my Mom when I call and say “Hey, I had a thought of a time when I was 6 and we went to a horse farm and had a great day, but I was wondering if this really happened or if maybe it was something I dreamed about last night?”

Seems when you suppress the bad, parts of the good get tossed in there as well. Don’t get me wrong, my childhood wasn’t all bad, but yes there were things that happened to me that I can only remember because I was told that they happened not because I actually remember them.

Anyway, I’m not here to force myself to think about all of these things but I’m here because all my life I have been told that it helps to write about your feelings, it’s a way of releasing bottled up emotions and sort of freeing yourself from being held “captive” by it. Here’s the thing, I’m a strong believer in God and that being said I don’t believe that I’m being held captive by anything. However, some of the things that happened to me have caused me to struggle a lot with trusting people and believing that others could actually want to love me. Because of this the first 5 or so years of the relationship with my husband were very touch and go, but the blessing in this storm is that he stood by me through it all! Through the years I stayed distant and caution of him, not because he was doing anything but because I struggled to believe he or anyone else could truly love me, even after all those years of him being there I still had my guard up.

WOW, how on earth did he put up with this? How could he have married someone so scared to love or be loved? When we first started dating he told me he was going to show me that he was different and that he loved me no matter what, I laughed as if he was joking and 11 years later, he still stands by my side loving me more than ever… I felt sad so many times during our relationship because I wondered why I couldn’t just be “normal”.  I told him over and over again to go find someone else because I wanted him to be happy but he'd just say, "I am happy"… I hate that I’m sitting here right now  with tears running down my cheeks but I guess that’s part of the cleaning process... you laugh, you cry, you throw things, then you get up, have a cup of coffee and get back to work! So I conclude by saying, “Let the healing begin!”

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Things To Do Before I'm 30...

With my pending 30^th birthday in the horizon this summer, I checked my schedule and just don’t see any way I’m going to be able to celebrate this year so as much as I hate to have to do this, I’ve decided to postpone my milestone birthday and remain 29 for another 12 to 24 months. Oh, I just hate to disappoint and I was so looking forward to celebrating but I just don’t see any way around this…

That being said I now have some additional time to start working on some things that I want to do before I turn 30. First thing on my list, lose weight. Yes I know this is very cliché but this evening I pulled out the scale and wiped off 2 years worth of dust, breathed a deep sign, closed my eyes and stepped on… I’m not going to divulge the astronomical 3 digits that taunted me from the scale below, I will tell you that I had to reweigh myself and then take off all my clothing items and reweight myself a third time just to make sure I was getting the correct read… Yep… I was and very disappointed to say the least! I have a plan to lose 20 pounds and I know I can do it!

The next thing on my “To-Do Before I Hit 30 List” is to find a better job! Or I guess I should say a more fulfilling job. I’m so fed up with all the drama, nonsense and high school antics that take place by some of my co-workers that I don’t even bother to talk to anyone anymore. Of course there are other issues with the job and maybe I’ve just hit that point where I need something new but either way, I’m so ready to go, therefore this is right up there at number 2.

Next, I plan to revive my face so I have started a facial regimen be combat any early signs of winkles, I don’t have any yet but hey, now’s a better time than any to start the preventative method. Oh by the way, in one of my other posts I briefly mentioned that I wanted to share some of my facial products and this regime was what I was referring to. 

So I started using Oil of Olay Pore Redefining Scrub, Oil Of Olay Deep Cleansing Clay Mask, Oil Of Olay Active Hydrating Cream and Oil Of Olay Night Firming Cream. I use the clay mask about twice a week, the scrub once or twice a week and the other two products daily and I just started this facial treatment and have already noticed a glow on my face and my skin looks so much fresher and vibrant!

So there’s my short list and there will be more to come so stay tuned! 

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Just Another Day...

Happy Tuesday everyone! It’s Tasty Tuesday over at FTLOB and what a perfect way to start my morning! I’ve just arrived at work, barely because I was dozing off in the car driving to work! UGGHH... That could have been tragic! Anywhoo I’m here and ready to rock and roll…

Abortion Rally in DC -Monday evening

Yesterday ended on a somewhat interesting note, my evening drive home always takes me right through the heart of DC and little did I know there was some sort of abortion rally going on but believe me, I knew when I got there! Everywhere I looked I saw signs, people, police, tour buses and more people. Traffic was RIDICULES and at a standstill so I used this opportunity to make lemonade out of lemons and took a few shots of the rally for my blog post this morning. I have to say the saddest thing I saw was this sign that read, "I regret my abortion" which was being carried by this older woman. I didn’t want to take her photo because well, I just felt it would be rude but none the less it was sad.

When I got home I remembered that Coco had a vet appointment for her boarding shots so we headed out. While there she decided to bite the veterinary and I didn’t really feel too bad because my vet pretty pushy anyways and always trying to get me to do tons of tests and shots and a whole bunch of junk that usually costs about $500.00 which I don't feel Coco needs right now. Each time I refuse my vet treats me as if I’m the worst pet owner in the world, though I know better!

When I got home I decided to have a cup of tea while making dinner for my hubby and me (chicken fettuccine with a homemade white sauce, very yum-yum). Later I watched Bad Girls Club which seems to be getting more and more, well for lack of a better word, stupider as each episode goes along. Isn’t the point of the show that these girls come there to learn something and change their ways because all I see is partying, fighting and random sex with outsider guys who look pretty disgusting and a whole lot of unnecessary drunk-grinding on each other. I mean they could do all this back home! I want some Bad Girl intervention here!

Anyway, in honor of Tasty Tuesday, here is my yummy recipe for Chicken Enchiladas. I don’t eat pork or beef so I make everything with turkey, chicken or seafood, I love these chicken enchiladas but it’s good to know that they can be very heavy and if you’re on diet, you’ll want to use low fat cheese and lean meat.

• 1/2 cup chopped green onions
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 (4 ounce) can diced green chilies (optional)
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• 2 chicken breast meat (or however much you desire)
• 1 cup shredded Cheddar cheese, divided
• 6 (12 inch) flour tortillas
• Enchilada sauce

Directions

1. Preheat oven to about 350 degrees F. Use non stick spray on a large casserole dish to lightly grease it.
2. In a skillet lightly drizzly olive oil and began to sauté the chicken, ad your own seasonings for taste.
3. In a medium saucepan over medium heat, melt the butter and sauté the green onion until tender (about 3 to 4 minutes). Add the garlic powder, and then stir in the green chilies, sour cream.
4. Then pour in with finished chicken and simmer for a few minutes.
5. Fill each flour tortilla with the chicken mixture and roll up. Place tortilla seam side down in the prepared baking dish.
6. When all tortillas are filled and rolled, pour enchilada sauce over the entire dish and then sprinkle a nice amount of cheese over the top and back for 35 minutes with foil covering the dish. For the last 10 minutes remove foil and bake to get cheese lightly toasted and bubbly.
7. Eat and enjoy!

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Catch You On The Fly...

The weekend flew by and I hardly had time to write let alone participate in any of the Weekend Wander blog hops. I had a paper to finish up for school and then found out that my husband is headed back overseas again so we decided to spend a bit of quality time together and went to see the new Vince Vaughn film, Dilemma starring Wynona Ryder, who I suspect has not been in any major films since her shopping lifting stunt. The film itself was pretty funny and I’m glad we got to spend some time together before he leaves.  

Tomorrows we are going for dinner and then he’s off for a few weeks. I’m back at work and just like any Monday, I’ve got my head barely above water and am struggling to find any time to even write this blog, but I just hate looking at the same post over and over again! I have tons of things going on and decided to just throw caution to the wind for an hour and update my blog! I know today is Magical Monday but I’m having trouble finding anything magical about my day. If you’re a regular reader of my blog, you’d know that today was the day I was suppose to hear back about the job interview and its going on 2:00pm here and I have yet to have received any sort of news. Though I’m not taking this as negative but yet maintaining that it’s just taking the hiring manager a bit longer to realize what a great candidate I am and when he comes around, I’ll get the call that I have been waiting so patiently for! That being said, I’m forging ahead with my work in my current position just to make sure all my T’s are crosses and I’s are dotted when I do leave, I wouldn’t want to burden anyone.  

 

I’ll be headed home very soon and will be making my famous Chicken fettuccine for dinner and I can hardly wait! I have some pictures to post from last night’s dinner (BBQ Chicken wings) but it will have to wait until I get home since I left my camera/memory card sitting on my desk at home in my mad rush to leave the house this morning. Also I purchased some new facial products which I just have to share with everyone but that’s “Coming Soon” to a blog near you.

Well back to work! 

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City Girl

My Day of Inspirational Blog Hopping

Today is my inspirational day so I’ve hit up some of my favorite blogs to get big dose of creative juice flowing for this up and coming weekend! My first inspirational blog is one I refer to often for fashion ideas. Check out Everyday Eva if you’re looking for fashion on a budget! My inspiration from this blog is that my husband is always “complaining” that I spend too much money on clothes and shoes so now I read Eva’s blog to be a bit more cautious with my spending while still looking cute! Thanks Eva!

My second inspirational blog of the day belongs to Reflections of Something. I have had a heck of a week and only parts have actually been good, I have been in some sort of a foul mood and I have no idea why but this blog has help me to lift my spirits and also posed a challenge which I'm considering! (Thanks a lot Branson!)

My third inspirational blog of the day for me holds the crowning title because I came across her blog purely by accident though the Fab Friends Friday Blog Hop, but was so glad I did. Serendipity I’d call this, a fortunate mistake that has turned things around for me. This blog belongs to Rachel and is called Randomness with Rachel. Turns out we share the same love for Audrey Hepburn, Jesus, shopping and reading, oh who would have known there'd be another person who likes this same weird combination of things! Her most inspirational thing that helped me  through today was her homepage and it reads: 

So a big, BIG thank you to Rachel!

Lastly, I have decided to list Words by Katie as an inspiration blog for me today mainly because her blog just all around, cheered me up. She really had a great theme and I love her posts and concepts.  (Also we are both Tim Tebow fans!)

So to my fellow bloggers who have given me some inspirational thoughts and ideas as well as cheered me up after a somewhat bad week; you all have my gratitude! Thanks so much for doing what you do best (blogging) and inadvertently plastering a smile across my face!

Keep Blogging,
City Girl

Week Updates

My week started out pretty good, I had a four day weekend because I was off last Friday and had MLK Day  offon Monday, then Tuesday we had a 2 hour delay at work because of a crazy ice storm that hit.  I arrived at work safely and later that day I had a job interview which, well…

I’m still waiting to hear back but being the Christian that I am, I have faith that God will bless me with this job no matter how much I may have bombed the interview! I'm competing with about 20 other applicants and am a nervous wreck!

Wednesday rolled around and nothing out of the ordinary happened except one of my department directors gave me some tips on what I should do in the event that I make it to the second round of interviews so I took her advice and am keeping an open mind…

Thursday I was feeling pretty bummed out and realized that I had lost a few pounds because I had been cutting out a lot of calories from my impromptu diet so that cheered me up until I noticed that the Art House Projects that I had already paid for had not yet arrived at my house and the date to get the project postmarked and mailed in already passed! What a waste of $25, good thing I still have one more project to participate in! UGGH!! BTW: I emailed Art House to complain and still have not heard back, figures!

Then I woke up this morning with a bad case of the blues and I have no idea why.  I barely made it into work and didn't feel like doing anything so I decided to check out my blog when I noticed that I had a few comments congratulating me on being featured on FTLOB. WWWHHAATT....I almost peed with excitement! Lol, maybe that was TMI but, hey it cheered me up after a somewhat horrible week! 

So Thank you For The Love of Blogs!!!

Honeysuckle: Fashions New Color of 2011

Fashion is already makings waves in 2011. Though much of the county is seeing white, the fashion world is anticipating a bright vibrate color to heighten the scenes. Wondering what that color is? 

Think fiery, bright, oh and pink! This hot new color will definitely be much livelier than 2010's color of the year: turquoise.

This year "Honeysuckle" is the color of 2011. This hot hue was chosen by Pantone Color Institute, the research arm of Pantone Inc., the company that largely sets color standards for the fashion and home industries.

"It's a really important color for us to get in for spring. It's a real strong color, but it's wearable for lots of skin types, the reddish pink shade lights a fire to your senses and revs you up”, says Leatrice Eiseman, executive director of the Pantone Color Institute.

The idea behind choosing this particular color was to bring life back to the public after bruising economic challenges that hit hard last year, bringing a sort of calming effect with a pop!

This is definitely a color I would rock!

Weight Loss Revolution...

For the past few weeks I’ve really been pretty upset with myself over my weight gain and yet I hadn’t done anything about it. Then on Monday I told my husband that I was going to start working out so I packed my gym bag and took it to work with me since the building I work in has a gym that all employees have access to. By Wednesday my gym bag was still sitting in my car and I hadn’t made my way down to the gym so I decided that I’d better bring it home in case I decided to work out at the gym near my house over the weekend. Last night I’d had enough of my procrastination and had a light dinner of Thai Curry Soup (very yummy) and got up early to head to the gym…

                             
As I dusted off my gym shoes I thought about the last time I had worked out and it’s been about 4 months (WOW). In the Fall I had been working out consistently and then I got really sick and couldn’t go to the gym for about 3 weeks and we all know just how easy it is to make excuses after you’ve gotten out of the routine… So by the time I started to feel better I kept saying, I’ll go back to the gym tomorrow and 4 months and 12 pounds later… Well you see my point. It’s actually sad because I have access to a free gym at work and then I have a gym membership near my home but I rarely go… But believe me, that’s all about to change, not only am I going to work out but I’m going to start eating better too! Watch out New Year’s resolutions cause I’m kicking butts and taking names and weight loss is next on my list!   
                              
So since today was my first day back in the workout saddle I didn’t want to over due it so I decided to keep it light, I did about 20 minutes of cardio and burned about 210 calories then headed home to shower… Of course as I continue, I’ll definitely up my workout time.
                                  
Okay, now to have a big bowl of pasta!  Just joking, though that does sounds really good right about now… 

Rachel Zoe's Latest Creation

Being seven months pregnant hasn’t stopped Rachel Zoe from completing her latest fashion line. Zoe says,  “I’d imagine everybody is expecting something from me that’s kind of a Seventies, uber boho-glam kind of thing, and, you know, very accessorized,” says Zoe. “And it’s not.”

You can expect to see an array of skirt-suits with bubble hems; long, lean pantsuits, double- and single-breasted; and superchic shift dresses, tuxedos and coats. And of course, her collect included accessories, handbags, flats, heels and boots. Prices for this collection start at $250 for a day dress and run to $700 for a full tuxedo. The collection has a serious 1970s vibe, but still has a modern inspiration to it. 

In The Bag...

So today I decided to do a segment called In My Bag. I’ve been super busy today at work and really didn’t have time to do too many updates to the blog but yesterday when I got home I had been thinking about the fact that I really wanted to write this blog so here we go!  

In My (Coach) Bag:

Maybelline Tinted Lip-gloss & Dior Lip-gloss Case– for when I’m on the go but still want to look pulled together!

Unstoppable Noir Eyeliner- I live in Noir blackest-black eyeliners and always have one with me.

Blackberry (“Crackberry”) & Digital Camera – for staying on top of my emails, text messages and latest news and for snapping photos on the go!

Dior Reading Glasses – for those moments when I need to look instantly polished and sophisticated!

Orbit Winter Mint Gum- every girl needs fresh breath especially after tacos for lunch!

Netflix &iPod Nana- entertainment on the go, nothing could be better for airport layovers!

Haiku Body Spray- I love this fresh scent and often spritz myself during the day.

Monthly Book-of-The-Month & Diary- I like to keep my brain in tip top shape so I always carry a book with me and my diary for making notes or storing photos and sentiments. 

So there you have it, all the items I love to tote around no matter where I'm headed! 

Keep Reading, 

City Girl

Today’s fashion inspiration: Vintage 1930’s pee toed shoes

Peep toe shoes were first introduced during the 1930’s and were worn mainly to formal evening events but many women considered bearing the toe a bit too racy for their taste. Flash forward to our current fashion trends and women don’t think twice about throwing on a pair of heel, ankle or toe bearing shoes for any occasion.

Today, many of these post war vintage styles have been the inspiration for our current fashion icons and hot trends. I am inspired by the similarities from shoes that date back to the 1930’s in comparison to many of the styles we see today.   

Have a look!

                                                              Vintage 1930's Peep toe shoes

 

Today's trendy ankle peep toe boots